April 17th

Tuesday, April 17th, 2018

Ugh, you guys. If I thought Bandit was hard, this just doesn’t even compare.

Even though Burke didn’t make much noise, the house seems so quiet. Too quiet. I removed his cage from our bedroom yesterday, and our room now looks empty. His blanket and litter box are gone from under my desk, where he’d always nap at this time in the afternoon. The sun is shining today, and he would’ve loved a sun bath. I opened the crisper drawer of the fridge today, and no little bunny nose wiggled at me from the edge of the carpet. I woke up this morning, and opened my eyes expecting him to be excitedly waiting for me to get out of bed, but he wasn’t there. I didn’t have anyone to give breakfast too this morning. No sweet bunny chews after I tell him that I love him and kiss his cheeks. No ear swivel when I call his name from across the room.

All of these things are following me from room to room. Habits, memories, routines interrupted.

So quite honestly, I had to escape my house today. I dropped off dry cleaning, smiled at strangers, got my car washed, stopped at the library, then came home and went back to the barn. Luckily, stalls were horrendous since we’ve gotten so much snow and they track it in and make everything wet. It gave me something to do. Henna and I went on a walk back in the woods, played in the snow. Buck and Junior got lots of kisses.

Then I got a call from a number I didn’t recognize.

I ignored it, and went back to what I was doing.

It called again.

So I answered. “Oh hi, Courtney, I’m with Flowers Plus, and I’m at your house with a delivery for you, but I’m not sure if you’re home.”

Back up to the house I went, a sloppy, sniffly mess because a sweet someone sent me a incredibly kind gesture. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it.

I walked in with my vase of flowers, and when I opened up the wrapping to look at the card, I was completely speechless.

With love from Barrington Oaks.

My vet! Folks, my vet sent me flowers. So completely unexpected, and so so kind.

We’ve been working closely with them for the past month, as Burke continued to get infection after infection. Then dental work, recovery, and an abscess under his jaw. Our treatment plan became limited, and I had to make the call yesterday. Dr. Sarah cried with me when I told Burke that I loved him, that I’d miss him, and when I gave him so many goodbye kisses. She never rushed me, even though I’m sure she had other appointments yesterday. They unlocked the back door, so I didn’t have to walk through the lobby on the way out. And then they sent me flowers.

Life is going to involve a lot of adjustment now, but when you have a community like that, it gives me a better start.

And thank you to all of you who prayed for me yesterday, and continue to pray. I am so blessed to have a community of friends and family like you.